I am writing a letter to the auto garage that messed up my car, asking for at least a partial refund. Instead of sending my usual vitriolic "YOU SUCK!" variety of letter, I am actually researching how to do a more professional complaint letter. You catch more flies with honey, or some shit.


A chat with Julia this morning:

Julia:  Did you see some Fassdong?
Me:  I sent you a bulgy e-mail
Julia oh, i am just opening it now
Me I haven't searched for pics of the member because I want to be deliciously surprised
Julia hahahaha. oh, the suspense!
Me:  indeed
Julia i think i would be a little scared of the fassdong
Me:  I have started dreaming about large snakes
Yes, this is how grown-up ladies chat on the internets. And this is the subject:
Are you thinking about my johnson?

Apparently Michael Fassbender is quite well-endowed. And he does full-frontal in "Shame," which comes out next month and is rated NC-17. And, as I said to Julia, I have regressed into a giggly 15-year-old virgin.


So I'm going on my cruise next week. I'm still not getting too excited (because every time I do, the car breaks down), but I am thinking about packing and rules and such. I am always so afraid of breaking rules. And usually I'm just throwing clothes in a backpack and then throwing the backpack in the car. Now I have to check my luggage - oh dear!


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