I was angry with my friend...

Last night I had a dream that I was camping with my family. I felt younger, and there were no nieces and nephews around. Our camper was either unsafely on the edge of a little lake, or it was floating in the lake, and we had to swim to get to it. I was a bit in awe of the whales and hippopotamuses that I could see in the water. I liked watching them, and I wasn't exactly afraid that they would eat me, but I was wary of their size, and of them taking any interest in me.

I had no problem swimming across the lake if the water was muddy and opaque, even though I knew that the whales and hippos were still there, right below me.

It was actually a pretty tame dream for me: no battles, no monsters, no quests, no sense of pervading excitement or dread. But in the dream I did call a former friend, someone I knew in high school and haven't talked to in a very long time. I think she was crying quietly on the phone, and she was very unresponsive; I had to coax every word out of her. I finally told her that I bore her no ill will, and to have a nice life. I meant it. And it was an odd ending to an odd little dream.

I don't usually read a lot of meaning into my dreams. It's hard to know what your subconscious is trying to tell you when your dreams make no sense, or when you have dreams that are so like your waking life that you are convinced that these mundane, everyday things actually happened. But, sometimes, things are so ridiculously clear that it's obvious that your sleeping brain is trying to resolve something.

This ex-friend... I haven't really thought about her a lot in the past ten years. Sometimes she pops into my head, and I think, "What the hell was THAT about? What was her deal?" Before our friendship ended for good, she had been blowing me off a lot and taking me for granted, and I finally told her that it wasn't cool. And what I thought would be a little friendship disagreement, one of those episodes that would end up making our friendship stronger, turned into something else entirely. Instead of dealing with my hurt feelings, she just never spoke to me again. And she would occasionally turn up in my dreams over the next ten years, ignoring me, or trying to turn other people against me.

When I hung up the phone in my dream, I had that feeling of lightness. A weight had been lifted from my (brain) shoulders. I'm wondering if I'll ever dream about her again, since I feel like I kind of mentally let my anger toward her go in the dream.

...I'm not quite sure how the whales and the hippos tie in.


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