yo-ho, yo-ho, the quiet life for me

I am at my best when things are orderly and quiet. This isn't something that I used to be able to admit to myself - I wanted to be wild and crazy, at least sometimes. I wanted to be the kind of person who can pack a bag and fly off somewhere on a whim. The kind of person who is called on to bring a party up a notch. Or, let's say this: I wanted to want to be that kind of fun, zany person.

But I am what I am. And I am a person who craves a reading nook, a pot of tea, a cat in my lap. Tranquil, light-filled rooms.

Traveling doesn't interest me much, and while I can certainly party, I don't really want to be the center of attention. I like a plan, direction. A place for everything, and everything in its place.

Lately I've been all frenetic and messy, and I've had trouble focusing. I've been sleeping horribly. Nothing feels calm or true. I know that I just need a quiet weekend of reading and tea to get back to myself, and I know that it won't happen this weekend. But I have this image in my mind, and I'm striving for it.



Heaven.