Courtesy and Respect
I had a lovely weekend at my mom's house, celebrating Mother's Day, and spending time with my family. It was very hot out, but we still managed to get a lot of activities in. And I also managed to relax somewhat.
But then I came back to Buffalo. I was rushing around this morning, as I usually do, flustered and hurried. So of COURSE CAN started bitching at me as soon as I came out of my house to head to work. He asked snottily if there was "courtesy and respect" between us yet, "about the windows." Something about them being opened first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Also something about a conversation he eavesdropped on between me and my landlady.
I have been trying to ignore him, and it has worked, but today CAN caught me unawares. He's been somewhat friendly lately, and I foolishly let my guard down. So I was instantaneously enraged at his fuckery, and I said, yet again, that I was allowed to have my windows and blinds open, and he's not in a position to say a damn thing about it!
The thing is, I knew I was getting nowhere with him. I've known this for a long time when it comes to CAN. He just stood there saying, "Oh, I know, I know!" in a rather sarcastic tone of voice, and I finally got to my car and tried to figure out what the hell he was even talking about... honestly, I haven't had a face-to-face conversation with my landlady since the fall!
Anyway, I was still pretty mad, so as I was pulling away from the curb, I stopped alongside CAN and told him that he could show courtesy and respect by not fighting with everyone in the neighborhood. It was pretty satisfying to see him fumbling for words as I drove away. But now I need to work hard on ignoring him again.
Honestly, I don't know why I seem to have such rotten luck with roommates and neighbors. I can certainly point to instances where I was unreasonable in the past (especially when I was in my early 20s), but I have done nothing to draw CAN's ire. And I really love the irony of someone demanding COURTESY AND RESPECT when they can't be bothered to be courteous and respectful themselves. Starting a fight about someone's windows and blinds being open in their house, insisting that they're stalking you, eagerly admitting to eavesdropping and watching others... none of these actions scream COURTESY AND RESPECT to me. And I'm sure any conversation I had with anyone about CAN was both warranted and factual. Possibly about whether he was going to attack me or shoot me, back before I realized that he was just another blowhard asshole who loves to run his mouth.
Ugh. Anyway, I just needed to rant. COURTESY AND RESPECT, my ass.
As a blogging aside, I know I haven't posted much lately. The big changes in my life have been work-related, and I try not to talk about that stuff online. Otherwise, my blog would be a never-ending cycle of "I read, I walked, I had beer, I had tea, I hung out with my family, I hung out with my friends, I hung out with the cats." Over and over again.
I don't blog very much about social justice things, although I am certainly all about paying attention to them. My rage about the injustice of certain situations takes away any coherence and eloquence I can muster, and I think that a lot of other people can and do write better, more coherently and eloquently, about these situations. (Another aside - I honestly don't understand the disdain from some quarters of the internet for "Social Justice Warriors". As if fighting against injustice is something to be ashamed of! Bullshit, my friends. Bullshit.)
So I am still trying to blog. It's just slow going. Sorry.