I am your art, I am your vice

My vices include lip gloss (as in BUYING TOO MUCH), drinking alcohol and reading and watching movies when I should be doing other things.

My "art" (should we call it that?) includes singing when no one can here me, writing what no one will read - I have written in my paper journal almost every day for the last few weeks, a feat for me! - and drawing once in a blue moon. I used to write poetry, but have not felt the need to write more than a snippet or two for... years.

I have been reading a lot of Sylvia Plath, and she depresses me. No, her depression doesn't bring me down, though I am sympathetic to it. I am depressed by how GOOD she is, how good she was even at a very young age. Her journal entries are full of detail, she really delved into what she was feeling and why, and she tried to remember everything. Her poetry is on another level altogether, one that I fear I'll never get to. She was obviously a poetical genius, and I don't even really hope to try and match what she did, but it's still a bit depressing. I think that what depresses me mostly is how disciplined she was, how she set down what she needed to do and then tried her best to do it. I fear that if I were to make writing a full time job, I wouldn't be writing so much as I would be doing everything but. TV, movies, walking, coffee shops, reading. Procrastinating.


The winter blues seem to be lifting, even though winter is far from over. We have sun today, mixed in with our freezing weather. I walked to work this morning completely unaware that the temperature was -6, with a wind chill temp. of -20. It seriously didn't feel that bad! And I've started to take out my cuter, brighter clothing, even if it's not completely weather-appropriate. Layering is definitely in effect.

Work has improved. I work with schools and teachers, and I was hampered/hobbled by snow days, holidays, etc. For quite a while, it seemed like I couldn't get any work done. Also, teachers are starting to get into government-mandated assessments, which makes some of them really, really cranky. For a period, work was no fun.

Well, some people are still cranky, but it's not getting to me. I'm steadily cranking out the work, doing the best that I can. Mine is the kind of job that is always going to be stressful at certain times of year, and I'm getting used to that. I still have a little anxiety, but I'm working through it instead of freaking out.


I haven't seen my family in a few weeks - I just realized that I need to update my blog tagline, because there are more babies now.

I'm going down this weekend for family time, which is always a need I have. I need the hugs and the laughs and the craziness (the craziness in smaller amounts). Last night I dreamed that my boss let me leave early tomorrow afternoon for the drive. Even if I don't get to leave early, I'm happy to be heading down yonder.



A Fuss said…
Have fun with the family! And hey, the warmer weather is supposed to be coming our way this weekend so breathe at ease.

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