the passive-aggressive approach

I have been listening to this song over and over again. Whenever I hear it, I have to replay it over and over again. It's so good that it makes my hair tingle. Particularly when the "Woo hoo hoo"s start.


I have a new roommate. I thought that I'd written about him, because he is a very loud slammer of things, but I guess not. Other than the slamming, he has not been around much, or he just stays in his room and is quiet. He doesn't make kitchen messes. He doesn't wake me up. He IS, however, trying to steal my bathroom time in the morning.

I have had so many roommates in the last 7 years. A lot of them have had unconventional job start times, or no job that I could discern, but I have come across people who get up as early as I do, who need to be at work around the time that I do. In the past, I have tried to catch people as soon as I could. I'd ask them when they'd be up, to see if I needed to adjust my time. With four or five roommates and only one bathroom, it seemed like the thing to do. To a one, every single roommate offered to get up earlier than me, without any prompting or strong-arming on my part. Or they would say that they got up earlier than me anyway. No problem.

But people lie. They might not lie intentionally, and I don't think that anyone sets out to piss me off, but people lie about when they get up in the morning.

I had one roommate who I SWEAR trained herself to wake up when she heard my feet on the stairs in the morning. She swore up and down that she got up really, really early, that I would never even see her in the mornings, because she would be leaving for work before I even got up. Well, I saw her pretty much every morning from then on... I saw her closing the bathroom door with a look of panic in her eyes as I turned the corner. She's lucky that I liked her, and that she was pretty quick in the bathroom.

Another roommate, one that I didn't like so much because she was crazy and mean, seemed perfectly reasonable when we first discussed morning bathroom times. And then she started an argument with me one morning about what time I get up, like I had no idea about my own schedule, and she had to school me. She started this argument with me through the bathroom door, while I was sitting on the toilet.

Some people don't just lie: they act like it's somehow your fault that they slept in.

So I have tried the reasonable talking thing in the past, but I am trying a different tack now. The passive-aggressive approach. When I noticed that this new guy was not only stealing my bathroom time (unknowingly, at first), but was also taking longer showers than I do, using up all the hot water, I decided not to say a word to him about it. I've also noticed that he leaves earlier than I do. I figured that he was waiting until the last possible second to get up and get ready for work - which is fine if you live by yourself, or if no one else is up and waiting.

Once it became apparent that he didn't care that I was waiting around for him every single morning (including one day when I had to wait forever, and all of the hot water was gone when I finally got into the bathroom), I decided that I'd get up earlier. And I did. I hurried, because I knew that he would be waiting, but I think that he panicked a little, just the same. If that's the case, well, I'm glad. Panic can be a good motivator. I am hoping to train him, through panic, to get up even earlier, so that we BOTH have adequate time to get ready for work in the morning.

Yesterday he beat me into the bathroom, and I didn't have to wait that long, and mentally I was all, "Yay, go you!" But this morning he did not, and I heard him push "snooze" several times. There is still work to be done here.   


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