Poor Zooey

I got home kind of late last night, got ready for bed, started drifting off... and then the thunder and lightning started. At first, I thought that the thunder was a semi truck, because it was a short rumble, but then I though, there can't be THAT many trucks driving in downtown Buffalo at 11:30 PM. And then there was lightning - I was dozing off, and thought that the paparazzi was taking my picture. And THEN a very long and loud roll of thunder, which scared Floyd right out of my arms - or maybe he went downstairs to watch the storm, since I yelled at him for opening the curtains to look outside.

I finally got to sleep, and I had some very odd and disconcerting dreams. Like such:

I was watching my mom teach a class or give a talk on something. I had just decided that I actually didn’t need to be there when she saw me and waved. I waved back before slinking out (in real life I would stay for my mama’s WHOLE presentation, don’t you even doubt it).

Somehow I fell in with my friends Ami and Jon, and I was at their apartment, which was HUGE and very Art Deco – silver mirrored walls, polished marble floors. One odd thing – the bathroom was actually the building’s elevator, so if the elevator started moving while you were doing your business, you had to hurry up and finish, or risk people seeing you in all your naked glory. Otherwise, the apartment was gorgeous.

Zooey Deschanel had wandered in, and was bonding with Ami – in real life, Ami would enjoy this so very much! I was trying to join in the conversation, with little success. When Zooey D. said, “At one point, I almost had to get a job at Rave Up!”, I asked, “What is Rave Up?” Both Zooey D. and Ami looked at me like I was stupid. When I said that I really didn’t know what Rave Up was, both basically chided me for interrupting (this totally reminds me of that scene in “Stepbrothers” when Dale gets yelled at for interrupting, and he’s all, “But I was asking about the story!”).

Oh – Zooey D. was wearing a red, vintage, flippy kind of dress, and looked very much like she does in real life, but she was a lot meaner than I think she would be in real life. And Ami was being a lot meaner to me than she would be in real life. They both just kept chiding me or ignoring me, and I was getting more and more frustrated with them – and in my head, it was obvious that Zooey D. was trying to steal Ami’s friendship from me, so I wandered off in a huge huff.

And then I heard a scream and realized that Zooey D. was a child murderer. There was a sort of cut-scene in which I saw her on a sort of empty city street, trying to lure/steal/bully a baby away from a father who had two other kids in his tiny car. He resisted her, but then he was so poor that he had to leave the baby at a church door, for charity.

Then I was back at Ami and Jon’s, which was overrun with drunk partiers. The party seemed to go on for FOREVER, and I didn’t know anyone, and I couldn’t get through the crowd.

This whole dream took place between alarm clock snoozes.

DISCLAIMER: I don’t know her life, but I’m pretty certain that Zooey D. doesn’t murder children. And I’m pretty certain that Zooey D. and I could BOTH be friends with Ami. I feel bad that my brain randomly selected her to malign and dislike and fear: she doesn't deserve it. But I can’t help it… Zooey D.’s gonna be getting the side-eye from me for a bit. Sorry, Zooey D.

Zooey D. is shocked