If I tell you that this is about Pothead...

...right away you know I'm going to rant, right?

I truly wish that I could just forget his existence, live and let live, whatever platitude you think applies to roommates who you can't stand but try to ignore. The thing is, he seems to have a sensor for when my ignoring skills are starting to get stronger, and that's when he starts pulling his bullshit.

He'll leave the toilet clogged with his waste and a metric ton of toilet paper, like someone else is supposed to take care of that; it's beneath him. Once, he left the plunger sitting in the clogged toilet.


He'll tell me that he'd appreciate it if I'd clean out the fridge for him, even when the items in his way aren't mine. If I don't take care of it, then obviously he has to SMASH EVERYTHING, because he can't possibly be expected to respect other peoples' things.


...You know what? Just click on the "Roommates" tag and read up! ...Except that I don't even think I mentioned the time that he made coffee and then left it in the pot for weeks, until it started molding in the 90+-degree heat wave we had. That sure was fun to clean up. I don't even use the damn coffee maker. And neither does Pothead, because I took it away.

Well, this is what happened earlier this week: last Thursday, I cleaned out the kitty litter and put the refuse in the empty garbage can (empty because I emptied it). On Friday, right after work, I went to mom's for the weekend. When I came back on Sunday night, I noticed that the garbage can was crammed so full of garbage that the lid wouldn't close. And Pothead was the only one here while I was gone.

It was late, so I went right to bed, and I was away from the house pretty much all day on Monday.

Tuesday night is the night to BRING OUT YOUR TRASH!,  so I came home fully expecting to have to take care of Pothead's Mountain O' Garbage, like I always do. And I found this note taped to the trash can:

Yeah, it's MY fault.
As you can imagine, I promptly lost my shit. As I said above, a tiny part of the garbage was dirty kitty litter. The rest was Pothead having himself a garbage party - or maybe he was trying to stress-test the strength of the plastic garbage can, I don't know. But it was ALL him.

When he came in the front door a few minutes later, I told him that the problem was not my kitty litter, it was the ridiculous amount of garbage that he'd shoved into the bag. I started out as polite as possible, but of course he immediately began berating me in his douchebag voice (I've heard him talking loudly on the phone in his room, and he does have this booming "I'm a fucking douchebag" voice that seems to come out of nowhere). Even better, he went into his room, slammed the door, and started yelling at me through the closed door!

What an asshole. What a revolting, stupid man-child.

At this point, I am very, very used to cleaning up the messes that other people make and then ignore around the house, because I can't take the mess anymore. Yes, I bitch about it, but it tends to be a minor annoyance blip that I get over in 5 or 10 minutes. But I am never going to be able to ignore people who make the messes, and then somehow manage to blame them on me.

And it always seems to be the roommates who are the laziest, most slovenly fuckers who leave me bitchy notes telling me that I'm not cleaning enough for them, or that some mess they created is my fault. And it makes me so angry that I have to come here and vent, in order to avoid jail charges because I finally got fed up and punched someone in their ugly, belligerent face.

Pothead is still not working, as far as I know. He's still in his room all day and night, watching what sounds like shock-jock videos on the internet - volume on HIGH, of course. I don't particularly wish him ill - I don't want him to be homeless, for example. But I'd love it if he just moved out and got the hell away from me. I'm digging in my heels again, because I enjoy my space in the house, and I've lived there longer than anyone else but Shon. Pothead has to move out, not me. I don't ever want to see him again. Particularly not when he's shirtless and wandering around the house showing off his asscrack, as he was yesterday. Ewww.

And yes, I immediately sent his note to PassiveAggressiveNotes.com.


Popular Posts